new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
im on a boat
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