Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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