i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
