Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
