I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
