oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
