so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
jump out the window naked night went bad
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
