google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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