I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
