That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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