I haven't been this sober since birth.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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