I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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