so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize