Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
FUCK WHALES
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
