literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
