On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
