So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
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I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
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He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize