The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
