I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
