I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
