I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
