I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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