Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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