Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize