Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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