To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
