This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
