His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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