My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
