Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
