we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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