Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize