I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
