Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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