please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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