You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
