He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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