I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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