So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
