turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
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