I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
