I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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