The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
