I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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