she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
