Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
