You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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