you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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