take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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