fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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