I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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