How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.