Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
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i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
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Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"