I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize