I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
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I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
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I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.