this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.