i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
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at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
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I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.