you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up