5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Well I just put wine in my tea
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
